• For the past few months I have been talking to friends from different countries, different cultures, different life paths, different life experiences and I've realized that almost everyone has a funny quote about wine, or related products. One strong conclusion is that wine makes you laugh. Here are some thoughts that I've remembered; others were sent to me and a there are a few I've found on the internet. Feel free to send me your quote and I'll add it to this list...providing that is in fact funny.

    Cheers!

     

    • - It is better to spend money like there's no tomorrow than to spend tonight like there's no money.
    • - An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his friends. (E. Hemingway)
    • - Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me. (Winston Churchill)
    • - Wine is the reason I get out of bed for Saturday's lunch.
    • - My dad was the town drunk. Most of the time that's not so bad; but New York City? (H. Youngman)
    • - What wine cannot cure, has not yet been discovered.
    • - What whiskey will not cure, there is no cure for.
    • - Be careful to trust a person who does not like wine. (Karl Marx)
    • - I often tell my customers: "Fear not. Excessive wine consumption can only lead up to my cellar."
    • - The hard part about being a bartender is figuring out who is drunk and who is just plain stupid. (Woody)
    • - "One of the disadvantages of wine is that it makes a man mistake words for thoughts."
      (Samuel Johnson.)
    • - "If penicillin can cure those that are ill, Spanish sherry can bring the dead back to life."
      (Sir Alexander Fleming)
    • - "Making good wine is a skill. Fine wine is an art."
      Robert Mondavi, "Harvests Of Joy," Autobiography.
    • - Future generations will discover amazing things...I've only started drinking wine in my late forties (Arthur Eddington).
    • - OK, OK, OK...give me a glass of wine and everybody keeps their jobs. (John Candy)
    • - "Wine is at the head of all medicines; where wine is lacking, drugs are necessary."
      The Talmud
    • - I have enjoyed great health at a great age because every day since I can remember, I have consumed a bottle of wine except when I have not felt well. Then I have consumed two bottles. - Bishop of Seville
    • - Beer is made by men, wine by God! - Martin Luther
    • - Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded. Trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth. .. George Burns
    • - I exercise strong self control. I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast. (W.C Fields)
    • - A man's got to believe in something. I believe I'll have another drink.
      (W. C. Fields)
    • - My Grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle. (Henny Youngman)
    • - When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. (Henny Youngman)
    • - A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says "You've been brought here for drinking." The drunk says "Okay, let's get started."
      (Henny Youngman)
    • - I feel sorry for people who don't drink. They wake up in the morning and that's the best they're going to feel all day.
      (Dean Martin)
    • - I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've started this business
    • - Wine is the answer, but I can't remember the question
    • - Who loves not wine, women and song, remains a fool his whole life long.
    • - ociffer you hass too listening to me, I swear to drunk I am not god!
    • - I was so drunk that I fell off the floor.
    • - A drunk man never tells a lie...even when he does.
    • - my idea of a balanced diet is a glass of wine, red and white in each hand
    • - Whisky or wine? I really don't even care if that rhymes, but since I'm on a role give me a shot of both
    • - This may be the wine talking, but I love wine.
    • - 24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case, think about it...
    • - I could spend 50 bucks on a guitar or I could buy a fine wine and play the air guitar.
    • - 4 beers- 25 dollars
      2 martini's 19 dollars
      6 jello drops- 15 dollars
      1 shot of grey goose- 9 dollars
    • - taking home 2 hot girls who just drank all of the above:
    • - PRICELESS!
    • - Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?
    • - I don't drink anymore - Now I freeze it and eat it.
    • - I Don't drink any anymore - I don't drink any less either.
    • - "Bartender, I have to take it easy tonight, so, please stop me at one.... okay, make it one thirty"
    		•